My Favorite Songs of...
Born On A Pirate Ship
Break Your Heart
Words and Music by Steven Page
 
The bravest thing I've ever done
Was to run away and hide
But not this time, not this time
And the weakest thing I've ever done
Was to stay right by your side
Just like this time, and every time
I couldn't tell you I was happy you were gone
So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart
I couldn't tell you so I had to lead you on
But I didn't mean to break your heart
 
And if I always seemed distracted
Like my mind is somewhere else
That's because it's true, yes it's true
It's this stupid pride that makes me feel
Like I have to follow through
Even half-assedly, loving you
Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice?
When I guess I should have just come out and
Told you right from the start
Why must I always tell you all I want is this?
I guess 'cause I didn't want to break your heart
 
And you said What'd you thing that I was gonna do
Curl up and die just because of you?
I'm not that weak, you know
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Try to make you love me as much as I love you?
How could you be so low?
You arrogant man,
What do you think that I am?
My heart will be just fine
Just stop wasting my time
 
And now I know that you will be okay,
And that I got what I want and that's rid of you
Good-bye
And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you
That makes me fall apart
It's just that I didn't mean to break
No, I didn't mean to break
Your heart
 
I Know
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
 
I know why I like you
It's cause of your clothing and your haircut
And 'cause you're racist.
I have a match; your face,
My asking you questions you can't answer.
You want to box me?
 
Our world works in a weird way
I've heard them say a man with a beard may
Frighten children or dogs
But a moustache scares me more.
 
I know why you bite me
It's cause of your instincts and your canines
And 'cause I kicked you.
I have a bone to pick;
Please go on the paper and fetch me my slippers
And stop meowing.
 
Man's best friend wags his tail and
Bares his teeth to the man with the mail and
Though he's frightened of thunder he never goes to war.
 
Tell me what's the circumstance of circumcision?
And what goes in my daughter's pants is whose decision?
I've seen the facts of inter-race relations,
Of see-through slacks, of cyber-masturbation;
If a hundred monkeys each could get their own show,
Perhaps one day a chimp might say
"You have faith, you just need to use it sayeth the Lord"
 
I know why I like you
It's cause of your sandals and your supper
And 'cause you're Jesus
I have a match; your Dad, my dad has
Your picture right next to your mother's
And one of Charo
 
They hold hands up in heaven.
And they say that their son's name is Kevin
But I read in a book somewhere that his name is Jack...
 
This is Where it Ends
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
 
I don't buy everything I read,
I haven't even read everything I've bought.
I don't cry every time I bleed,
My eyes are dry, but they're bloodshot.
I have faith in medication
I believe in the Prozac Nation
You play doctor, but I've lost patience
 
But this is where it ends
This is where it ends
Call the police and call the press
But please, dear God, don't tell my friends
This is where it ends
This is where it ends
 
Where's my pride? Where's my self-esteem?
Does it show in the drinks I've bought?
I don't hide every time I'm seen, but I try not to get caught.
Make excuses for behaviour
Can my illness be my saviour?
Hid my heart while you still gave yours
 
She says she wants to live in a movie
I say I want someone else to stand behind me
And write it all down
'cause I can't be bothered doing it myself.
And I don't want the responsibility of
proving it's importance.
 
I have loved and I have waited
Been picked up and been sedated
mental health is overrated
 
The Old Apartment
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
 
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live
 
Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
This is where we used to live
 
Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dishrack?
these things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back
 
Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks.
This is where we used to live.
 
Why did they pave the lawn?
why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live
 
How is the neighbor downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun
I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy here
But this is where we used to live
 
Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories
Blending into dull tableaux
 
I want them back
I want them back
 
Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
 
I tend the wheat field that makes your bread.
I bind the sweet veal, pluck the hens that make your bed.
Mother Nature & Mother Earth
Are two of three women who dictate what I'm worth
 
Chorus:
I'm the farmer.
I work in the fields all day.
Don't mean to alarm her,
But I know it was meant to be this way.
 
You cried a tear, I wiped it dry
I put you up upon a pedestal so high
if you should waiver, if you should sway
I'd catch you, spread my tiny wings and fly away.
You signed your picture with an O and X
I bet you don't write "love" each time you sign your cheques.
 
Chorus
 
All of this corn I grow I grow it all for you
I took a hatchet to the radio I did it all for you
You could have written back,
You could have said "Thank you"
I guess you've got better things,
better things to do.
 
You say you love me, is that the truth?
Although they've heard the songs,
My friends want living proof.
I know your address, I ring the bell
I bring you flowers and a .22 with shells.
 
I'm the farmer
I work in the fields all day
Never wanted to harm her
But I know it was meant to be this way.
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